Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Why America Sucks Large Deep Fried Oreo Balls!

The RTA is planning to change safety regulations on buses because Americans are getting so big that they can literally make an entire bus stop moving… so, basically, obesity is fucking out of hand.

According to the CDC, there are only 2 states in the entire country (Congrats Colorado and D.C.) that have less than 20% obesity rates for their populations. That has to be the saddest statistic ever. Though everyone from Michelle Obama to 50 Cent (no really, “Fiddy” is against obesity too!) has fought against obesity, it’s still not working…obviously. So what’s wrong? What are we as a nation doing wrong?

The answer is that we’re accommodating the issue we’re trying to fight. We’re making our seats bigger, and telling people that the burger they’re eating has 3,000 calories in it (Newsflash! They don’t care) instead of actually taking a serious stand against this problem.

Now, if you’re a hundred pounds overweight and can still manage to fit your ass into chair, I honestly could care less about the way you live your life (eat to your hearts content!). But when I hear things like “Oh, ma’am you’re too big to fit in one seat on this aircraft so you can just buy two tickets and then you will be fine” or “Sir, you’re so big that you make this bus literally unmovable, so we are just going to take a few people off so you can ride,” my stomach churns.

I don’t believe in accommodating a problem you are trying to solve, and that’s exactly what America is doing.

Here is a suggestion: let’s make our airplane seats smaller! Let’s make it illegal to serve anything that contains more than 25% of your Recommended Daily Value of fats, salts or sugars! Let’s put anyone whose kids have diabetes before they hit puberty in prison for child abuse! Let’s take some initiative!

I get that there is a fine line between solving a problem and discriminating against a population, but I really think it’s time to lay the smack down on obesity’s candy ass. Do you smell what The Rock is cooking? I’ll give you a hint…it’s not deep-fried!

- howmanyhuntersarethere

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