Saturday, April 23, 2011

Speedy Gonzalez

Woah, how'd this happen? Everything is speeding up and yet conspicuously slowing down. As the rambunctious silliness goes on upstairs and behind me, I am here writing a PR paper. Literally shit is falling out my ass right now, I never thought I was going to have to bullshit for 10 pages, but it's happening.

One of the other Hunters is sitting on the couch next to me, supposed to be upstairs....But here she is and here I am here with computers, listening to Sweet Emotion, not writing papers..

At least the party we went to wasn't horrific. Which is surprising considering the amount of fools they let in here. Seriously, buffoonery!

The plan was to work for an hour, which turned into watching The Real World, then go out to a party...then work at what is now 4:20am.

It really did sound like a good plan at the time. Don't ask what drugs we're taking, you don't want to know.

Am I really thinking about going to 420 fest to hear more dubstep? Yes, yes I am.

Highly functional drug addict is my name and apparently college is my game, or something.

This  is my brain
This is my brain on drugs.

----The Fashion Hunter-----

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Mark Zuckerberg Controls the World

Don't you want to be his friend?

Radical, I know. But it's true.

I am, of course, assuming you've seen the countless 20/20 and CNBC news features on Zuckkers, he even has a David Fincher film all about his rise to Nerd fucking martyrdom.

Basically, this kid is the fucking icon of our generation and he controls the world.

Let's recount how I got started on this idea of Z-berg being the grand puppet-master. The process began whilst lying in bed thinking about what I accomplished, today, the wondrous day of April 12. The last thing I was proud of myself for doing was saving $50 on my lease beacuse I liked the housing company, on wait for it...Facebook.

That got me thinking, Facebook is an everyday part of my life and it is for almost everyone in the Western World.(you know everyone you know has one)

I see that little blue fucking f symbol on buses, billboards, booze, bitches, beer,booths, magazine ads, newspaper articles, TV commercials, signs, bills, and all the other bullshit I'm forgetting.


Which of course, is a direct correlation to the fact that Zukkers is everywhere all the time. His lust, perhaps vindictiveness, curiosity, boredom, evil genius social skills and possible bouts of drunkenness (my description is basically based off the Social Network paired with the obvious influence Mandark from Dexter's Lab had on him. But of course, this is all speculation.) Produced a tool that 500 million friends and counting use all the time to keep in contact or for the majority of users "lurk" one another.

He has created the most accessible and easiest way for people who have fallen out of touch, are too shy to use a fucking phone, or those who have just barely met, to become "friends" and receive a rather intimate view of each others' lives.

Let's be honest, Facebook is a voyeur's dream, a secretive person's nightmare, a stalker's playground and the majority of the Red, White and Blue(aka the U.S.)/ the world (not China but props Commies) can't seem to get enough.

Long story short, good old Zuck, the advertising companies and their clients, (hint: every corporate American company) are in bed together, and they bathe in our money.

I do have to say kudos to you, Zuckerberg, you control the media, (every journalism outlet relies on you,plugs FB on their page,etc.,) the government is obviously your BFFL and well, every ad firm in the country better yet the world pays you the BIG BUCKS. Fucking shit, you are a P-I-M-P, playa.

So as much as I do loathe your business and ethical practices, I still use your product, dare I say your brainchild, all the time and so does everyone else.

My tribute to you Zuckeroo:

(Zuck's fellow puppetmaster, baby)

Long Live Hunter.

**Editor notes: Apparently music videos have to be censored?wtf? Ridiculous. What I've learned to do is basically mute youtube and play it on iTunes, works pretty nicely. Sucks if you don't have BP in your library...loser

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Do Yourself a Favor and Experience this Shit!

I didn’t sleep on Friday night; I was too excited. My alarm went off at 8, but I was wired already. My roommates decided to go out that night, so they were hung-over and sleeping. Time to get up you stupid motherfuckers! I wake up, go directly to my refrigerator, pull out a nice little plastic baggy with two tabs of acid in it and down the rabbit hole I go. The next couple of hours are a blur: there’s a breakfast in there somewhere, some television, and the sound of some familiar songs from my childhood, but it’s nothing but a blur.

Then I’m there. Where? There. Where? FUCKING DISNEYLAND BITCHES!

LOLZ. Now that I’ve done with that whole eerie, creepy buildup to my destination, you know I’m the fucking happiest person in the world. And for those of you who have yet to cream your panties, IT”S MY FIRST TIME EVER. YAY! (insert ejaculatory scream here)

Disneyland is truly the most magical place on earth. Add a head full of acid and a pill of what we’ve now decided was cat tranquilizer, and you literally will explode with the magical-ness of it all. I know I did.

We spent over 12 hours at Disneyland which consisted of: Space Mountain…Twice, Lollipops, Alcohol, a scary run in with a drug dog, The Tiki Tiki Room, 5 trips back and forth between Disneyland and California Adventure, multiple Mickey hats, fireworks, 2 moment’s where I cried (which never happens), and the most amazing explosion of color and Disney (World of Color) to end the night.

It literally changed my life; it’s a magical place that only believes in happy endings and cotton candy. Everyone is happy, everyone is dressed up, everyone is either 40 or 4, and everyone shares the communal experience of being at the most amazing place on the planet. It was surprisingly busy last Saturday (I forgot about spring break), but the well-oiled machine that is Disney made me and my best friends feel like we were the only people there, or at least the only people who mattered.

I entered Disneyland that day as a 20-year-old college student who never understood what Disney means to be people and it’s power as one of the most identifiable brands in the world. I left an exhausted, strung out, 5 year old, high on a combination of life and the drugs I’d been taking all day, with a new understanding of Disney and everything it represents. I won’t spoil anything for you people who haven’t been because you have to experience it for yourself. But I had the most magical day at the most magical place in the world, and if you haven’t given yourself that gift…KILL YOURSELF! Or go… NOW BITCHES!


Could it Be?!...Will He Really Leave??

"O-L-I-G-A-R-H-Y." –misspelling "oligarchy" on his chalk board while claiming he had deciphered a secret code that he said was proof President Obama was trying to create an "Oligarhy," Aug. 27, 2009, Glenn Beck show on FOX News Channel

This just in... Glenn Beck is set to leave his daily show on Fox News by the end of this year.

Glory, Glory Hallelujah. There really is hope in this doomed world.

For the past 2 years Buster Beck has been infiltrating our homes and lives with his nonsense and historically incorrect claims. I mean this yahoo has actually rewritten history and sold it to his inept viewers as Truth. The blasphemy! The Horror...the HORROR.

It's clear I dislike this guy but to ensure you hold the same opinion as me, here's a clip from his show that was actually aired on cable news. Mind you, the clip with commentary is from Keith Olbermann's Show (No problem whatsoever with Big O, his commentary is funny yet informative because...oh wait he actually KNOWS American History):

Sadly, all is not fair in war and media and Beck will produce shows for "Nazi News" oh excuse me I meant Fox News.

Anyways, its not like I watch the channel anyways, its not "Fair and Balanced" as its slogan purports but rather "Bias and One-Sided"

Unfortunately, only half of the news watching population of the Star Spangled States agree with me. According to a poll by Public Policy, Fox News is not trusted by 46% of Americans and trusted for credibility by 42% .

Ugh... too close for comfort for me.

Yet, it was still a glorious day knowing Glenn Beck's face will no longer disgrace TV sets in homes throughout the country.

Long Live Hunter.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Pardon the Interruption... There Was Business to be Handled

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There's a difference." ~Bill Hicks

Excuse my absence, my education at the USC has overtaken my personal life. This past week consisted of editing packages, NO sleep, laboring over my Constitutional Law midterm and intermittent mental breakdowns to cope with the amount of stress I was under. These burdening factors consequently made me neglect my Gone Gonzo duties.

Yet, there was light at the end of the tunnel and it was in the form of HempCon.

Yes, HempCon a convention at the LA Convention Center for marijuana enthusiasts and stoners alike.

Despite the large neon pink and yellow posters and huge billboards around town to garner large crowds, the stoner population is hard to get out of the house. Thus, the turnout on Friday night was rather lousy.

The event was entertaining and with the low turnout I received more attention from vendors... needless to say I was quite amused.

The legalization of marijuana in California has been a long and treacherous road but the stoners, patients and activists have prevailed and Hempcon was a fine example of their success.

Due to my altered state of reality I partook in the festivities, buying everything from a Rasta cap, to Dope on a Rope (it's soap) and even a 40's poster with a stereotypical clean-cut white man surrounded by the words "Mind if I smoke? Dope Made Me the Man I Am Today" (oh the irony)

For the James Bond sneaky smokers there were pipes disguised as highlighters, stash cans which were actually hollowed out Pepsi cans and even...well actually I forgot. (no pun intended)

Moving on, Hempcon displayed the very finest of glassware, medical doctors and of course go-go weed girls persuading you to go to their clubs wearing alluring, sexy yet tasteful outfits. ( Unfortunately, even I gave into their antics)

From Jamaicans to white boys, all were welcome with open arms to this year's Hempcon and of course all attendees shared one thing in common... the notion that Marijuana Prohibition is absurd.

That is all.

Long Live Hunter.

Photo: LA Weekly