Mark Zuckerberg Controls the World

Don't you want to be his friend?

Radical, I know. But it's true.

I am, of course, assuming you've seen the countless 20/20 and CNBC news features on Zuckkers, he even has a David Fincher film all about his rise to Nerd fucking martyrdom.

Basically, this kid is the fucking icon of our generation and he controls the world.

Let's recount how I got started on this idea of Z-berg being the grand puppet-master. The process began whilst lying in bed thinking about what I accomplished, today, the wondrous day of April 12. The last thing I was proud of myself for doing was saving $50 on my lease beacuse I liked the housing company, on wait for it...Facebook.

That got me thinking, Facebook is an everyday part of my life and it is for almost everyone in the Western World.(you know everyone you know has one)

I see that little blue fucking f symbol on buses, billboards, booze, bitches, beer,booths, magazine ads, newspaper articles, TV commercials, signs, bills, and all the other bullshit I'm forgetting.

IT'S EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME

Which of course, is a direct correlation to the fact that Zukkers is everywhere all the time. His lust, perhaps vindictiveness, curiosity, boredom, evil genius social skills and possible bouts of drunkenness (my description is basically based off the Social Network paired with the obvious influence Mandark from Dexter's Lab had on him. But of course, this is all speculation.) Produced a tool that 500 million friends and counting use all the time to keep in contact or for the majority of users "lurk" one another.

He has created the most accessible and easiest way for people who have fallen out of touch, are too shy to use a fucking phone, or those who have just barely met, to become "friends" and receive a rather intimate view of each others' lives.

Let's be honest, Facebook is a voyeur's dream, a secretive person's nightmare, a stalker's playground and the majority of the Red, White and Blue(aka the U.S.)/ the world (not China but props Commies) can't seem to get enough.

Long story short, good old Zuck, the advertising companies and their clients, (hint: every corporate American company) are in bed together, and they bathe in our money.

I do have to say kudos to you, Zuckerberg, you control the media, (every journalism outlet relies on you,plugs FB on their page,etc.,) the government is obviously your BFFL and well, every ad firm in the country better yet the world pays you the BIG BUCKS. Fucking shit, you are a P-I-M-P, playa.

So as much as I do loathe your business and ethical practices, I still use your product, dare I say your brainchild, all the time and so does everyone else.

My tribute to you Zuckeroo:

(Zuck's fellow puppetmaster, HOV..baby baby)

Long Live Hunter.

**Editor notes: Apparently music videos have to be censored?wtf? Ridiculous. What I've learned to do is basically mute youtube and play it on iTunes, works pretty nicely. Sucks if you don't have BP in your library...loser